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But if you do, you're not going to have a friend. And deep down, you know she's right. On a date at his frat house, he bad-mouths nerdy Jason Melon, the former towel boy turned teammate.

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I dated a dude who was packing a footlong. T he sex was uncomfortable, at best, and he refused to go down on me. I dumped him after a year of making up excuses to not have sex.

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And the public was in agreement. In fact, we were all wondering how no one had coined a name for BDE before. It is never misplaced and it cannot be simulated.

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Porn worships and fetishizes massive dicks, but does the size of your penis actually make you good or bad in bed? Each dick size has something new to offer. Some people like to get fucked by a big dick, others prefer fat dicks or skinny dicks, or they might like a small one that perfectly hits their pleasure spot. Men are notoriously bad at reporting their own size.

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Researchers tried to answer one of the most important questions to mankind: In which country do men have the largest penis size? Well, in African and South-American countries men seem to have the largest, and in Asian countries the smallest. You can find the averages penis size of all countries here.

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Look at this shit! Look at it! Jon Hamm?

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To complicate everyone's relative feeling of self worth, condom seller Condomania ranked the states with the largest average penis size, based on the thoroughly unscientific metric of who bought what where. That includes smaller and larger-sized condoms. Here's an illustrated look at the top ten, followed by some below the belt shots at the rest of the states.

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Recently, hearts the internet over shattered at the news that a scientific study of dick pics would be called off. The reported reason for the study's cancellation: That overzealous penis-havers had avalanched author Alicia Walker with nudes, obligating herself to halt the project as she dug herself out. What actually happened: Flawed coverage seeded chaos into a research effort architected over the course of six years, making it impossible to complete as planned. The same week Walker, an assistant professor of sociology and anthropology at Missouri State University, announced that she was shutting down the study, the term " Big Dick Energy " — BDE — enjoyed a viral moment.

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The findings, published in the most recent issue of Foreign Affairssupport recent speculation that America's unquestioned reign as the leading super-prick may soon be drawing to a close, leaving China as the foremost shithead among all developed nations. According to the report, China has slowly emerged as a massive fucker over the past half century, a period of egotistical growth unseen since America's booming douche years following World War II. Over that same time, China has seen a dramatic rise in both its GDP and Shithead Index, definite signs that the Asian nation is developing into a cocksucker of global proportions.

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At The only thing standing in his way is Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, a man from Mexico who claims his is 19—yes 19—inches long. Cabrera, he argues, cheated his way to the top. I am happy with my penis, I know nobody has the size I have.

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